Accept everything about yourself–I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end–no apologies, no regrets. – Clark Moustakas
I remember back in Highschool, I would be nice to anyone. Often I would wonder why someone ain’t my friend. I can’t say it drove me crazy but it did nag me once in a while.
As such, I didn’t have a good experience. I did my best to please everyone, to join the crowd.
A few weeks ago, the highschool gang decided to meet up for a reunion. I didn’t went. We went to highschool together, yes. But I never felt close to anyone. They are nice people but I never felt like I am part of the group.
There was some guilt feeling about not being part of the group and I should show up. I was glad I had a Bible Study so I quickly shrugged the reunion off.
Looking back, the problem isn’t about peer pressure or other external factors. It is about me.
The past seven months of training amplified that.
What do you do when you decide your life does not fit with who you are? When you do realize that the obligations are not olbigated at all?
“it means you have to ditch your old support system, family or friends…You have to inflict pain on people who love you. Oh, they can still be your friends, still love you – but the seat you’ve saved for them at your Inner Circle has to be given to someone new. And this is never done without the sting of rejection and the collar of guilt. Why do so many people hush the longing to be someone different? It’s not because they don’t have notions of what they’d like to be. It’s because they don’t want to be the kind of person who abandons friends and takes up with a new crowd. When is it running away, and when is it the best thing for you? It’s always looks like running away to those you’re leaving behind. And if you’ve ever run away before, you’re open to that criticism.”
Criticism I have received. Criticism I will receive.
Criticism does sting. But it will never compare to the despair of regret and self doubt.
Going to the cottage with Fellowship this weekend, shall be good.
Before I leave, I will include a lighter side of my week. I went to had my bike fitted at my local bike store. The fitter took one look at bike cleat on my left shoe, he told me that I put them backwards and there was no way it would work with the pedals.
Can you say IDIOT? :D. I can’t wait to do some long ride and see how much better I feel witha a better fit and shoe that CLIPPED to the pedal.
Great weekend all..