The heart of the matter…

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…is the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.

The weekend my church had an outreach concert and today we had seven people accepted Christ at Baptism.

It is now 12:29 am and I am sitting in my room. I am tired. The past weekend has been mixed with planning, setting up, and cleaning up.

The concert was on Sat at 7 pm. My original plan was to go ride my bike in the morning and spent the afternoon help out set up.

I have an Half Ironman in two weeks and I am not in shape.

In my heart, I was trying to squeeze some time in for the bike ride.

I woke up on Sat at 8 am thought about a number of things.

I thought about when it comes to Ironman, I made my training the top priority. It wasn’t a hard decision. The process was quick. I need to train. Let’s go train. Get it done.

As I lied on my bed, I thought about when it comes to serving Christ, do I have the same attitude? Why am I spending so long on being decisive? How come I ain’t quick at making this decision?

I was reminded by my pastor saying, “this is your church, you have to give it your best shot” Ironman is about giving 100%. Am I doing the same for my church?

Once I ask those questions, it became ever clear what I need to do. A brother from church had car trouble and I got up and went over to get his car started. Then spent the rest of the day at church setting up.

I am ever need to remind myself where’s my heart is at.

And if my heart is not following Christ, then what in the world did I accepted Christ for?


I am reading John MacArthur‘s The Master’s Plan for the Church, the following speak very close to me:

As we prepare to serve Christ as His ambassadors, we must do so with a thorough commitment to excellence. We ought to be ministering to the limit of our capacity. Then our toil will not be in vain.

The set up. The works. None of that really matter. God, being all sovereign and powerful, can get things done without me. When I am given the opportunity to serve, I must strive for excellence. In the heart. Not just in the works.

Only when I am spent and I can confidently say to myself at the end of day that I put in 100% to serve the Lord, am I truly satisfy. Physically and emotionally I am pretty drain. Despite that, I am joyful.

In a society where we ever strive to be more comfortable. It is hard to imagine why I would feel happy when I am ‘tired’.

For me, the joy is from knowing where I am placing my heart at. And I don’t trust myself to place the heart upon myself. On the road of life, following my desires is a risk that I am not willing to take.

If that make any sense.


My Desire – Jeremy Camp

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king
You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king
This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire to be used by you
You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It’s to do your will
It’s to do your will
All my life I have seen
Where you’ve take me
Beyond all I have hoped
And there’s more left unseen
There’s not much I can do to repay all you’ve done
So I give my hands to use.

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By Cliff

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