We’ve been married for a month. Indeed, it is a tremendous blessing to be with Wai Jia. There are a lot of transitions and changes.
Many people asked me how’s married life. My answer is AWESOME.
I can never fathom how great it is to have her in my life. Our daily routine of getting up together (well she usually get up before I do because she works earlier), praying and kissing each other before she heads out the door is great. The night, coming home together, sometimes with grocery in one hand. Her preparing dinner while I help clean up. Talk about day to day things. Our desires, our own fears and our expectations.
Perhaps one of the most important thing which I never thought about marriage is in the area of communication and conflict. Through Cornerstone‘s Marriage Preparation Course, we picked up the book, A Last Promise, A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage.
When it comes to marriage and my age group (early 30 something), there’s generally two views on this matter. There’s the skeptical side that no marriage will ever last. It is far better to be single and be independent. Who wants to be stuck with a ball in chain. Who wants to compromise our own desires and wants. Who wants to face and experience heartbreak and pain.
Then there’s the other side where we expect love, relationship and marriage to be like a story from Disney. Prince meets princess. Falls in love. Happily Ever After.
And so often we are caught between one or the either. We are either skeptical of marriage or we are heads over heels falling in love.
The reality is that it is neither and it is both. I am no expert at this as the track record of my marriage is one month and counting. I do see that those who are Spirit-filled, Godly couple (a bit ironic as is there such thing as Spirit-filled un-Godly couple?) told Wai Jia and I countless of times that they are still learning and appreciating each other. These are marriages which have lasted for 10-15-20 years!
When it comes to wedding and marriage, there’s a lot we need to think about. How often we think about the practicality (where you will live after, your career, investment for retirement, wedding, honeymoon). But the greater importance is investing in the marriage itself in the aspect of relationship.
It is through marriage that I see my own sinful nature which needs refinement and address. It is those sinful shadows where we are ashamed to admit. Perhaps it is a burst of anger or irritation. Or a desire to think about me first and her second. It is also through marriage I learn to be self sacrificial (Wai Jia has to sacrifice just as much as I do) for the other person and for the marriage itself. It is the commitment that draws us closer.
It is where when Paul writes about Love being gentle and patient in 1 Corinthians 13 or in Ephesian 5 when the husband ought to cleanse his wife with the Word. Wow, those scriptures jump out and need application.
In a world where we strive for independence, our success, our , it is often rare to see a marriage where each party will to self sacrifice. To stand down. To encourage the other half. Perhaps it is true that a joyful Christian marriage is a greatest testimony of all. Especially in a world filled with examples of broken marriages and families.