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Confession, my hinderance to community living

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In my previous post, I mentioned about Acts 2 Fellowship. Tonight, over a chat with a few brothers, I made a confession.

The fact is a part of me is repulse by such a fellowship is possible. In Greek, the word for fellowship is koinonia. Based on Wiki, koinonia “implies the spirit of generous sharing or the act of giving as contrasted with selfish getting.”

I envision if Acts 2 fellowship were in today’s culture, everyone will bring their paycheck and their bills and wealth will distribute accordingly.

The truth, as I was sharing to my brothers, is a part of me find this idea repulsive. I am not secure in the possibility I might get less. I want to get my fair(?) share. What I deserve. Notice the focus is on me (self center thinking).

Yet, at the same time, I am intrigued and excited by such standard of living. It is such beauty that I cannot fathom or conceive.

And so here I am. Wrestle and grapple by such heavenly thoughts. For I have a brief glimpse of what fellowship is like…and I cannot stop thinking about it.

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