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Seeking God

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I must admit, this holiday, I feel very far away from God.

It is not that I need more Bible study or more praying. I do my daily devotion. I pray. I fellowship. I go to church.

It is a matter of being too busy. With the holidays, with many social engagements coming up, it is often easy for me to loose sight of the bigger picture.

Maybe this is why my heart is racing all the time and I feel the lack of God’s persence.

I spent Christmas day going along a trail that I normally go during the summer time.

The trail was covered in snow. Along the trail was a bench and I sat down. And for short moment, what seems like minutes. I slowed down. I stopped checking my cell phone. I worked very hard to not think about the next thing to do list. I stopped thinking about work. I stopped thinking what I should do. I just stop doing.

The weather was quite warm for winter. Though I was the only one on the trail. I ran on this trail many many times. I know it like the back of my hands. I ran here at night, in the morning, during snow, during the rain, on sunny day. It became a part of me.

Yet, it was my first time sitting down. By the river. Hearing the rushing water. The birds chirping among the woods. Every so often, a piece of ice will flow down the river.

Today’s message convicted me. There were two points that hit home. First, the guest speaker said that excessive giving (like have two coats and you give one away) is not sacrifice. Second, when we do things for Christ, we will be ridiculed (and persecuted).

Often, it is very easy and almost a natural to do things for Christ for others approval. For example, serving in a ministry and being an role model for others. It is definitely an area which I need better discernment.

And for me, it is also very easy to say I sacrifice for Christ when I barely scratch the surface of what servanthood truly means.

As one year is over and another is approach, I hoped that I continued to seek God. To seek Him with everything that I got…

To fall in love with Him…

And to not ‘worry’ about how I look…even at times it looks ridiculous.

For even King David, was criticize for dancing and leaping when they brought the Ark back to Jerusalem. In which he responded:

I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.” (2 Samuel 6:22 b).

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