“Wai Jia, studying here feels like a dream.” I told her as we entered Regent College.
Two months ago, we went back to Canada for a short visit. We spent time with my family. We visited Zion Fellowship Headquarter. We had a small wedding for my friends and family. After the celebration we decided to go to Vancouver to visit Regent College. Regent College is a leading seminary in Canada. Gordon Fee and J I Packer, two well-known Theologians, came from there.
My Health Care in Canada (known as OHIP) will expire by Oct 2014. With Health Care, I can go back to Toronto for treatment in case my liver has any issues. In order to renew my Health Care for me to serve overseas, I need to stay in Canada for two years. We figured since we need to stay in Canada anyways, we can equip ourselves by going to seminary. Wai Jia and I spent a large amount of time and prayer on this. It affected her career as well. We didn’t have all the answers about our future. Both of us knew that next year will be a big transition.
It sounded like a perfect plan and Regent College is located in one of the most beautiful place in Canada. Tall pine trees scattered around the campus, the beach a short distance away and mountains surrounded the city, simply wonderful.
Is this the Lord’s Way?
Sometimes in our zeal to follow Jesus we mistook our own agenda as the Lord’s agenda. Just as Peter rebuked Jesus after He told the disciples He will be crucified in Jerusalem (Matthew 16:21-23). How can that be? You are the Son of the Living God. You are Christ. You cannot die.
It takes good discernment to understand His Ways. The decision we make is often not between a bad way or a good way. It is often the difference between a good way and a better way, His Way. For example, it makes sense for us to have a stable job and take care of our parents. Doesn’t the Bible teach us to be good stewards of God’s blessings (Matthew 25:14-30) and honour our parents (Ephesians 6:1-3)? However, the desire for comfort and security might blind us in thinking that’s what the Lord wants us to do and neglect the Great Commission.
Without clear discernment we delude ourselves in thinking what we want as what He wants. That’s why when I pray about ministry and directions, I often leave room for God to lead me otherwise if that’s His Will.
As we toured around Regent College, Wai Jia could tell I was getting excited. I studied part time at McMaster Divinity College before I went to Singapore. I enjoyed the study and wished to continue. Now here’s my chance.
But God changed our plans while we were in Canada. I was able to extend my Health Care until 2016. This became a game changer on our future.
During a short break between us and the staff from Regent, I whispered to Wai Jia, “do you think it is a good idea for us to go on the mission for a year or two instead of studying here?” She nodded and felt the same way. With that in mind, we cancelled meeting with the Student Adviser and spent the rest of the day enjoying God’s creation.
I never imagined I would study at Regent. It sounds too good to be true. But deep down I know this is not His Way. Between choosing what I want and what He wants, He is the Lord of my life. Going to Regent next year is not the right time. Maybe in the future the Lord will bring us back or maybe not. I am not clinging on to that. I know He is good to me. It is time to let it go and continue to seek the Lord on where He will send us.
