Last night I was sharing with a friend that in the five years of becoming a Christian, the past week I can say it had been some of the most trying times in being a Christian.
A lot of reconciliation..a lot of seeking Him alone for answers..a lot of pleaing for the Holy Spirit to work…a lot o weeping and a lot of aching….a lot of meeting
I didn’t even set a schedule this week. Every night I was out and meeting with brothers and sisters. Sometimes through confusion, upset, anger and a lot of hurt.
Despite that I can tell you I seek more God now than ever.
How the suffering and the spiritual life is often come side by side.
If you read my previous post, God had impressed me to seek reconciliation with those whom I have wronged. I had to take action…one of them was a girl whom I dated a year ago. Instead of letting her know I wasn’t interested, I just didn’t respond to her.
I can tell you this was the hardest thing for me to make that call and ask for forgiveness. Not that it was hard to say. It was the pride and ego that was preventing me to do so….I felt it crawling right underneat my skin.
Why not just leave it alone? She won’t know the difference.
That was my rationale. Blah. This is all about reconciling with those whom I wronged.
And so I made a call and left a voice message.
And so this week had gone by. And another week is coming. I do not know where God will take it. We shall see.
One Response
Courage is much needed in reconciliation. I struggle with seeking forgiveness from those I've wrong too, so I really admire the way you went ahead and took that huge risk of humility.
Kudo, brother! You're going in the right direction. :o) May God strengthen you to walk these darker days.