This body ain’t mine

I was thinking about this last night in reflection of the Half Marathon I did.

I was thinking why am I going so hard to suffer.

Here’s the thoughts going on my head at 16 km of the race with 5 more km to go:

“This is pretty good. I am feeling pretty good. I am breathing hard but it is in control. I just need to hold it for 5 more km and I am good. My pace is fast and yet it is controllable. Wait the sec. How come my legs ain’t tired? They should be screaming by now. I am not pushing as hard as I should be. I haven’t come to a point where I had to dig deep. I am just cruising along. Alright..let’s start moving.“

And so I let my legs ripped. This morning I had trouble walking down the stairs because my quads were very sore. That’s a good sign that I was pushing them pretty hard.

I was talking to my pastor tonight that the reason why I like to race is I like to race myself.

On Sat, the night before the race, I thought back as to why I race. For health? Yup. Inspire others? That too.

I don’t do it for the medal or even for a fast time. Though I like to see a personal best. What I really enjoy about racing is those crucial moment where everything hurts and my body wants to slow down and my mind wants to stop. Yet despite the ‘hardships’ there is one little voice that just want to keep going.

So where’s God in this?

At church, a brother commented that I should be running a marathon for God. In reply, I told him, I am running for Him when I am on the field. But what does that mean?

I remember Eric Liddell‘s quote, “God made me fast. When I run, I can feel His pleasure.“

And Ryan Hall, another Christian runner said, “The road is my sanctuary.“

I don’t want to start plotting scripture verses without understanding the context around it. Though in the Bible, there are a few verses which depicts going into battle, or competing in sporting arena.

I do enjoy the meditation with God when I am right on the run and into His creation.

I was driving home and was thinking how hard I can push my body. Perhaps it ain’t my body.

When I had my transplant, it is a point where God gave me a second chance to live. This body of my, right now is a gift. One which, I can never repay. It belongs to God and it is His to use as will. And what does this mean? Well, if God has to take away this body (aka I die), then so be it.

Am I scared? Of course. At the same time, if I know I have eternal life and justified by God through Christ. Really, what’s there to fear?

God will be joyful to see that I use this body as hard as I can in an effort to bring glory to Him. I need to be more intentional on bringing Glory to Him in this sport.

I have to remind myself that when I called myself born again Christian, it ain’t figurative. It is literal.