“So, Cliff, tell me. After one year of living in Tanzania, tell me what you have accomplished?”
When someone asks you a question like that, you know there are a lot of things coming behind it.
I was having a coffee with an uncle (an older gentleman) at my previous church in Canada. This question and conversation are ones I’ve had with myself for a while. For the past year and a half, since we have been in Tanzania, this has been a topic I have frequently discussed with my wife.
I don’t think we are one of those crazy people who just love to do crazy things. Haha, I enjoy my consumeristic life in Singapore or in Canada. It is very comfortable. I can order things online.
Here, in Tanzania, I struggle with many things. Water outage, power cuts, and a car that keeps on dying.
Let’s not talk about the possible security and the education for my girls.
The list can go on and on.
“Cliff, I hear what you have done. But I feel God is telling me right now that you should reconsider. You should evaluate how effective you are for His Kingdom. Going back to Singapore and running conferences. That is more effective. You and your wife should do that. Reach more people.”
I do. But effective in my eyes, at least what I see in the Bible, is never about numbers. Yes, a conference, we can reach hundreds and even thousands. But here is the thing: in Singapore, they know how to run conferences. There are many Christian conferences in Singapore.
I don’t look at effectiveness as much as obedience. Because if you look at effectiveness, you will never do missions. You will never venture out. You will either stick in wherever you are. In my case, it will either be in Canada or Singapore. Why? Because I can do more, build a bigger platform, reach more people in Singapore or Canada, and so on.
In Tanzania, there was no big platform, so we spent most of our time keeping things running. I am thankful for a day when our car is running.
It is different. I think God evaluates us on obedience much more than on effectiveness. Look at Phillip. He had a revival going on, and God, through the Holy Spirit, sent him to some deserted road. In the middle of nowhere, he met an Eunuch and shared the Gospel. (Acts 8) Had Philip focused on effectiveness, it would have been much more effective for ministers to minister to the hundreds of people who just believed in Jesus.
So, despite the hardship, why Tanzania? The reason is simple. Because God led us there. Okay, to be precise, I believed God led us there as we seek Him to serve Him in Africa.
When we go back, I am going to enhance the wifi network for a school. It sounds technical, but it is not. It is not rocket science here. For anyone IT-savvy, they can do it. The problem is that no one there knows how to do it.
So I have two options. I can stay in Singapore and run conferences or do ministry, just like every other Christian there. Or I go to Tanzania and help a school build an Internet network so the students can learn and teachers can teach properly.
I chose the latter option. I have this scenario played in my head a thousand times, and I still choose the latter option.
Why? Because the impact I can make on this IT project is greater than what I can make if I run a conference, which someone can easily do.
In a country where abundance is abounding, it doesn’t need more of you. Why don’t you (or I) serve in places where there is a lack of abundance?
That was my response to the uncle. I am sure he doesn’t get it. And that’s ok.
Being a missionary, no one really understands you. And that’s ok. Because God understand.
Another friend asked me how I feel about going back to Tanzania.
The truth is, I try not to think about it. Part of coming back to Canada is to rest and recoup.
A big part of me doesn’t want to go back because there are problems waiting for me to do. Car to fix. House with issues that need fixing. Yes, more problems and more fixing. LOL
But a small part tells me I should go back. If anything, this small voice is speaking louder.
To be a missionary, you need a vision from God, and you need to be tenacious. Tenacious because nothing makes sense. If you try to make a decision based on human ways of looking, you will never choose missions. The odds are stacked against you. The only way forward is to trust in God and press on. Even if no one understands, that’s ok. At the end of the day, we are seeking only His approval.
The audience of One.
In a way, being a missionary and doing a triathlon are so similar. The reason why I love long-distance triathlon (like Half Ironman) is that there will be a point in the race where you don’t know if you can go on. The distances are so long that you can’t cover them in your training. So you stick to your training plan, and you don’t know how you will be on race day.
In these long distances, there is always a point in the race, every part of your body is screaming at you to stop (or at least slow down). But a small voice inside of you whispers to keep going. And you decide to listen to this small still voice. And you keep going. Hmmm….I know I am nuts, but I miss those moments.
And being a missionary is the same. You are doing something no one understands (or even cares about). Your church, your family or your loved ones may not agree with what you (not that you are sinning). But you look at your heart, where you want to go and where God is moving, and you just put everything into it and see what happens.
I am not looking for success or effectiveness. I am only looking at obedience.
