Viewing Children as the Mission Field
The Great Commission commands us to make disciples (Matt. 28:18–20). What if we see our children as the mission field? It may sound strange, but the reality is that when they are born, they do not know Jesus. The question then becomes, how can I share Christ with them? Parents should see themselves as missionaries; the mission field is their children. I was called to missions, and sharing the Good News is not new. But the idea of seeing my kids as a mission field helps me rethink my parenting role and its importance in helping our children become mature Christians.
If we look at a journey of a nonbeliever to a believer, it starts with evangelizing them by telling them the good news of Jesus. Once someone accepts Christ, we teach them how to follow Jesus. This portion is known as discipleship. There is no specific point where evangelism ends and discipleship begins. But it is important to consider that depending on our children’s spiritual maturity and hunger for Jesus; we need to cater the message of Christ to them. We can’t simply assume all our children are on fire for Jesus simply because they grow up in a Christian home.
Paul travelled around the Roman Empire preaching the gospel as a missionary to the Gentiles. Paul treated new believers as a caring mother does with her baby (1 Thess. 2:7). A mother will not give her baby solid food because the baby’s digestive system hasn’t been developed. Instead, the baby needs milk. Paul used the same analogy with new believers in 1 Corinthians 3:2. He couldn’t discuss deep matters with the church of Corinth because they were immature. Paul’s method of discipleship should be the beginning point of how we should treat our children when we start discipling them.
One of the most important things is not to rush this discipleship process. Let the child fully understand who Jesus is and what Christianity is about before deciding to follow Him. We should not rush to baptize them or push them to pray the sinner’s prayer. We aim to help our children reach maturity in Christ, lacking nothing (Jas. 1:4). We should start with spiritual milk. Make sure they understand the basics in their hearts before giving them meat.
Bailey uses the analogy of building a structure to describe spiritual growth (Leadership 73). Initially, nothing is happening because the focus is digging and laying a firm foundation for the building. But once the foundation is set, the rest of the building goes up quickly. Children may want to please their parents and agree to whatever the parents ask. This means they may just accept Christ because their parents tell them so. If the children are small, it is tempting to quickly lead them to accept Jesus when they haven’t fully comprehended what they believe. When Tripp was asked if he expected children to become believers, he replied that the gospel is powerful and attractive because it is the only resource that meets our fallen nature (15). He expected God’s Word has the power to bring salvation to his children (Heb. 4:12). We should do the same.
Contextualize Jesus to Our Children
Paul adapted his message to his audience whenever he preached the good news. In Athens in Acts 17, Paul was invited to the Areopagus to speak. Since his listeners were Romans, he didn’t quote the Old Testament. Instead, he compared Jesus to an altar in Athens with the inscription to the Unknown God (Acts 17:23). He used this altar to tell them that God is the one who made the heavens and the earth, and He is the Lord of all. Paul also used Athenian literature to point out to them that they are God’s offspring (Acts 17:29). Using these cultural references, Paul pointed them to Jesus and the resurrection (Acts 17:31).
His message was very different when Paul preached to the Jews in the Synagogue at Pisidian Antioch in Acts 13. Since his audience was Jewish, he used their heritage and the Old Testament and pointed to Jesus, a descendant of David, as the Messiah (Acts 13:23). In Acts 22, Paul addressed a Jewish crowd in Jerusalem. He shared his life as a Pharisee because many in this gathering would know of him. His testimony specifically included being taught by Gamaliel (Acts 22:3). Gamaliel was “…only one of seven men among Jewish doctors honoured with the title of Rabban” (P. Caram, Acts 151). Not only that, but Paul also spoke in Aramaic instead of Greek (Acts 21:40).
In short, Paul crafted his message based on his audience. This process is known as contextualization, which many missionaries adopt when sharing the gospel worldwide. Hudson Taylor, one of the missionaries in China in the 1800s, shared the gospel with the Chinese by being like them (Autobiography 43). He learned to speak, eat, and dress like the Chinese. He even dyed his hair black to look Chinese. Hudson Taylor aimed to do everything he could, without sin, to enable the Chinese to accept the gospel. In his words, “[l]et us in everything not sinful become Chinese, that we may by all means ‘save some’” (Sadler).
We must also contextualize the gospel for our children, as Paul advises in 1 Corinthians 9:19–23. Though Paul was a Jew and fervent for the Law, he was willing to forgo his Jewish tradition to reach the Gentiles, who were not under the Law (1 Cor. 9:21). When our children were babies, we played with them and made funny sounds to get their attention. This is contextualization in its simplest form. We are doing it without being aware of it.
As our children grow through different life stages, we need to be aware of that and match our speech and the examples we use to their maturity. It is often easy to ask them to match our ways, maybe sit down for a lengthy Bible study. If the children are too young, they will not be interested in that approach.One of the homeschooling activities I did with S involved making a fish out of paper. We put paper clips on the fish’s mouth and used a wooden stick, string, and magnet to make a fishing rod. S painted the fish. Then we read the story of Jesus calling the fishermen. We threw the fish on the floor, and the sofa became the boat. My two girls instantly became fishermen and had fun fishing.
The activity did not seem to have much of a spiritual lesson. However, I realized the children love to play, and this activity provided the contextualization appropriate for their ages. My challenge is making engaging the Bible an exciting and joyful experience for them. Simply reading is not enough for a young child. They need interactive activities. I am clueless when it comes to doing that. Following a particular lesson plan, God answered my prayers for creativity. My nightly prayer for my wife and me is that God gives us the creativity to show our children who God is.
Jesus used creative examples in His teaching. He did not use concepts too complicated for His audience. He used current events, like the falling tower of Siloam (Luke 13:4), to help His audience grasp spiritual truth and the kingdom of God. He did not speak Hebrew but Aramaic, the trading language at the time (Mark 15:34). Jesus chose to relate to the crowd. In the same way, Jesus made God approachable, and as parents, we have the same privilege and responsibility to be His ambassadors to our children (2 Cor. 5:20).
Parents can start sharing the love of God even before the child is born. The child in the womb recognizes the mother’s voice (Boyd-Barrett). This means we can even interact with our children while they are in the womb. Babies do not understand words, but they do understand and respond to emotions. A baby will burst into tears if he hears a loud, angry voice. A gentle voice will soothe her. Whether the child is in the womb or a newborn, we can speak softly to express our love. We often think we can’t show God’s love to our children until we converse with them. A baby’s language is not words but emotions. We can show our children, even when they are babies, God is love (1 John 4:7) because love is an emotion.
For now, my kids are toddlers, and I’ve spent my time role-playing and playing with them. As they grow older, our games will also change. As a child grows into adolescence and the teen years, the conversations will become more profound and complex. However, parents should continue to spend quality time playing with their children. Playing may not seem valuable in God’s work. But parents must see this as investing in the child’s life by building a relationship with them. Children are willing to share what’s in their hearts when they feel safe and secure. Time spent together is the key to evangelizing and helping our children come to know God is love and accept Jesus as Lord over their lives.
Don’t Rush
Our job is not to follow a set formula or go through a program to get our children to accept Christ. Like Jonathan Edwards, we should demonstrate our concern for the welfare of our children’s souls. But we must take the time and let the Holy Spirit do the work in their hearts. A Christian is a sinner who realizes he is a sinner and in need of Jesus’s saving grace. The path to this realization is different for everyone. Thompson recalled a revelation he had at age six on how he chose to follow Jesus (5). He grew up in church and heard Jesus at Sunday school. But one Sunday, he finally understood the message in his heart. On the other hand, I encountered Jesus in my Ironman race at the age of twenty-seven. Even though we had different experiences, the result was the same: we were aware of our sinfulness and the need for Jesus Christ as our Saviour.
Oswald Chambers shared that this revelation of our sinful nature is not just a general knowledge of sin but the specific sin that the sinner had committed (“The Concentration of Personal Sin”). Isaiah was an example of that. When he was in the presence of God in Isaiah 6, he realized he was a sinner who committed specific sins. His sin was his unclean lips and dwelling with people of unclean lips (Isa. 6:5). Isaiah knew he was a sinner, not just because of general knowledge, but because he felt condemned for his exact sinful action.
This relates to the second question I mentioned in Part 1 that all parents need to address: who we are. We are sinners at heart. During an Ironman race, I realized I was sinful because I was addicted to alcohol in university. I was a drunkard even though I was given a second chance with a liver transplant.
The beauty of following Jesus is that the instant we realize we’ve sinned against the Lord, we also experience His grace by looking to the cross. It is on the cross of Jesus Christ where the wages of our sins are paid. The lyrics from John Newton’s “Amazing Grace” are correct. He wrote: “Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved” (Hymn: Amazing grace).
The fear Newton refers to is the guilt from the damnation of our sin. The relief is from knowing that Jesus’s death on the cross paid for it all. As we evangelize our children and live with them daily, we don’t need to rush them. More important than a Bible study is that our children see our walk with Jesus in our lives. Just as Robert Murray M’Cheyne said, it is more important for his children to see his holiness. Our children must see us living as sinners set free by the cross. The testimony of our lives is the greatest tool to share our faith with our children.
Children, depending on their age, will have other questions about Christianity. They may ask silly questions like why God killed all the dinosaurs. Or they may question the validity of the Bible. Here is where we need apologetics. In the Alpha Film Series’ Who is Jesus, the producers spent a considerable time explaining how the Bible is an accurate historical text (7:40). As parents, we can approach these questions as an opportunity to discuss faith. We may need to do some homework, and we can explore together with our children.
Parents’ openness to such discussions is essential in building a loving relationship with their children. Sadly, a significant reason young adults leave the faith is their experience of an exclusive and closed church (Kinnaman 170). We need to encourage open dialogue with our children. It is ok to express doubts and even fear. After all, children who live with us will see us as who we are. We can’t hide from them. One can doubt and not be cynical. Thomas doubted and refused to accept the resurrection unless he touched Jesus’s scars. Jesus understood that if He met Thomas’s condition, Thomas would believe. Thus, He showed Thomas what he asked for; to run his fingers through the nail prints on Jesus’ hands and touch His side (John 20:27). What happened to doubtful Thomas? He preached the gospel in India (Tresham).
I am not rushing to get my children saved. We talked to our children about salvation and the need for the cross when they were toddlers. But I am building up these conversations. I share with them that, as their father, I am not perfect and sinned before I knew Jesus. There will be a day when my children are old enough to comprehend the cross and their sinful nature. And on that day, I desire to be there to journey with them.
As parents, we desire our children to know the gravity of sins and the necessity of the cross for their salvation. And this will point to the need for Jesus Christ. They can never save themselves without the cross and will always be enslaved to sin. This is the best way to deal with nominal Christianity. Some don’t want to go to hell but don’t want to give up their sinful nature. So, they go through the motions of Christianity, like going to church on Sunday, tithing, and serving. They meet the standard of what it means to be a Christian and are content with that. This is not what it means to follow Jesus. Those on fire for the Lord will do these things because they experience the joy of worship, giving, and serving. All these are done in response to the Lord’s love for us, and we respond in worship and service.
Sharing Our Testimony
One important component of evangelism is sharing our testimony. A testimony, or our conversion story, has three components: who we are before Jesus, our encounter with Jesus, and who we are after encountering Jesus. Paul shared his testimony before the Jerusalem mob and Festus and King Agrippa. He started by telling others who he was before Jesus. He came from the strictest Jewish sect and lived as a Pharisee (Acts 22:3, Acts 26:5). Not only was he zealous for the Lord, but he also persecuted Christians (Acts 22:4–5, Acts 26:9–11). Paul wanted to show his Jewish audience that he was a Jew, just like one of them. Not only was he a Jew, but he was zealous for the law and obeyed God’s commandments.
Then he shared his encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus (Acts 22:6–21, Acts 26:12–18). He told them how he was changed. After encountering Jesus, he became a Christian instead of persecuting them. He realized that Jesus was the fulfilment of the Messiah in the Old Testament. The mob cut Paul off after telling them God sent him to the Gentiles (Acts 22:21). Before King Agrippa and Justus, Paul concluded his testimony. He explained that Jesus was the Messiah to the Jews and the Gentiles (Acts 26:23). Paul used his testimony to share Jesus and persuade others that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6).
As believers, we all have a testimony. It may not be as vivid as Paul’s, but it is essential to share it with our children. If this is how we evangelize others, shouldn’t we do the same for our children? Funny, I never gave that much thought. But once I was convinced my testimony was useful for discipling my children, I had another problem. I struggled to think how I could share Jesus since they were toddlers and babies. Even at a young age, I could engage S in a conversation. This means that I have to contextualize my testimony to such a simpler story that S could grasp it.
Earlier I concluded that parents are to help our children to address two questions: who God is and who they are. The first question is easier to explain. I can spend endless hours sharing how awesome God is and how He is our Provider (Matt. 6:31–33), our Healer (Isa. 53:4–5), and our Banner (Exod. 17:15). But the second question is harder for me to explain. It is hard because when I see my children, they are so cute, and I overlook their sinful nature. But it is there. It surfaces when they fight over the same toy or when one yanks a snack from the other. That is sin, and sin fully manifested and grown leads to death (Jas. 1:15). Thus, it is important to reveal that without Jesus, they will live under the burden and death of sin. And our job as parents is to journey with our children until they get to the point where they see Jesus as their Saviour. This means that I can’t just assume they are Christians because they grew up in a Christian home or have gone to church all their lives.
One way to approach these questions is to share our testimony with our children. In the eyes of children, parents are superheroes. S often says, “Papa, you are so strong.” When she makes that statement, I always ask her, “who made Papa strong?” She answers, “God.” I am glad to hear that answer because she understands that we should depend on our strength and God’s.
When I share my testimony with S, I want her to see that I am also a sinner saved by grace. Let my strength and talent glorify God and not focus on me. I must help my children realize that God is ultimately the One who is our strong tower and our shelter (Ps. 61:3). If they see Wai Jia or me as the endpoint of strength and power, they will chase after that and not after God.
No matter how powerful David became as a king or a warrior, David attributed his strength to God and relied on God for help. He never declared he came into power by his might. David wrote Psalm 60 after his victory over the Edomites. The battles against the Edomites were mentioned in 1 Chronicles 18:12. In 1 Chronicles 18, it lists David’s victories over his enemies, including the Philistines, the Moabites, and the Arameans. Despite all these victories, David never relied on his strength or army. Instead, he acknowledged God as the one who defeated his enemies (Ps. 60:12). David declared that “…human help is worthless” (Ps. 60:11). This should be our attitude as Christians, and we need to help our children inculcate this mindset.
The world is filled with people trying to find the perfect formula for success. It is easy to fall into the temptation to accomplish anything and have a joyful life with our strength. The very instant we think we’ve made it by our strength, we become the foolish man who wanted to build a bigger barn (Luke 12:18). Instead, we need to humble ourselves and learn to trust in the Lord.
When we trust in our Lord and not in our strength, our children will see it because it operates the opposite of how the world thinks. When children see their parents not only rely on God but on God joyfully, that’s a compelling testimony. Sometimes we think we need to send our children to listen to special speakers for them to know Jesus. There is nothing wrong with that. But we ought not to neglect our duty and realize that our lives are powerful testimonies to our children as they see God in our daily lives. The daily actions and decisions we make in our lives are facets for our children to see and experience God.
Treating Family as a Church
When COVID first spread worldwide in 2020, we couldn’t attend church because of the government lockdown. That was when Wai Jia decided to start Sunday school at home. My wife’s initiative led me to consider treating our family as a church. After all, a church is a gathering of believers who worship Jesus. Although we could not gather in a physical building, I realized our family could still worship together like a mini church. It is similar to the idea of house churches.
Other ministers had the same idea—even Charles Spurgeon: “First, let us begin by emphatically declaring it is parents (fathers in particular) and not the church who are given the primary responsibility for calling the next generation to hope in God. The church serves a supplementary role, reinforcing the biblical nurture that is occurring in the home” (qtd. in Bettis 14).
The home is a representation of the church, albeit smaller. Children learn about Jesus from the parents, particularly the father, and the church’s role in supporting the parents. Jonathan Edwards observed:
Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ and wholly influenced and governed by his rules. And family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual. If these are duly maintained, all the means of grace will likely prosper and succeed (Bettis 14).
When parents, especially the father, treat the family as a church and worship as a family, God’s grace supports and sustains them. Many fathers may feel inadequate to lead a family in worship, prayers or studying God’s words. But God’s grace enables us to do the work He called us to do (Bailey, Leadership 118). In 2 Corinthians 12:9, God told Paul that His grace was sufficient for Paul, despite his weakness. This is the power and the possibility we have when we emphasize discipleship at home.